Have you noticed you’re less interested in spending time with your partner than you used to be? The excitement and connection seems to have dwindled and you’re uninspired by your relationship? Some people may jump to the conclusion that they’ve fallen out of love with their partner and will not be able to salvage the marriage. It could very well be that the relationship may have cooled off a bit, but this doesn’t mean it’s the end of your marriage. If you feel you’ve fallen out of love with your partner, it’s a sign that the relationship has been neglected for some time and it’s worth exploring whether there’s still enough fuel in your marriage to reignite that spark.
The Cyclical Nature Of Relationships
Long-term relationships are not stagnant. They ebb and flow and have many phases. The marriage you had as newlyweds will not look like the marriage you’ll have as you’re raising children or after you’ve retired. Some life events will draw you and your partner closer, while other phases will be marked by conflict and emotional disconnection. This is all perfectly normal and expected. Long-term relationships are cyclical, and ups and downs are to be expected. If you’ve been in a “down” stretch for too long, it’s only natural to worry about where your relationship is heading.
5 Signs You’ve Fallen Out Of Love With Your Partner
There are 5 main indicators that you have fallen out of love with your partner. Some are emotional and others are behavioral, but all point to a loss of connection.
- You feel a sense of anxiety or apathy when you need to spend time with your partner
- You feel unfulfilled, questioning the relationship, feeling empty
- You are not going out together as often as before and you’re not initiating any engagement
- You’re not having sex as much as you used to
- You’re prioritizing other people, friends, and career over your partner
If these 5 signs are a reflection of where you are in your relationship, know that this is extremely common, especially if you’re raising children. This is not the end of the road for your marriage. It is possible to recover your relationship as long as you and your partner are willing to make that happen.
How To Fall In Love With Your Spouse Again
Most couples had a spark at the start of their relationship. Even if it has faded over time, it is possible to tap back into that connection with the help of a few tried and true strategies.
Peak experiences can help re-energize your marriage.
Think back on when you felt most happy and connected to your spouse. What were the circumstances then? How can you replicate or adapt elements of those experiences to your life now?
Fantasy will allow you to explore and renew your sex life.
When sex becomes routine and predictable, fantasy can help keep things new and interesting. Fantasies can be real, like wanting to have sex outdoors, or made up, like role-playing. This may feel awkward if you’re not sure how to talk to your spouse about sex and fantasy without putting them off, but it’s important to overcome the discomfort for the sake of your relationship.
Sharing new experiences has a way of breathing new life into relationships.
If your life and interests are moving in a new direction, invite your partner to tag along. Whether it’s a new hobby, interest, environment, or social circle, sharing and exploring in tandem gives you something new to talk about and bond over. This is especially important for older couples, whose social and career paths tend to diverge over time.
Make sure your positive interactions outnumber negative ones.
If you and your partner have been in conflict with or indifferent to each other, getting back to positive exchanges may seem like a tall order. But a smile, a touch or a kind word can make so much difference. In fact, research by Dr. John Gottman has shown that strong marriages have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction. Even negative experiences hold connective power. If you are able to hash out disagreements in a sincere, constructive, and heartfelt way, it will be a bonding experience.
Re-engage all your senses.
The senses of smell, taste, sight, sound and touch all play a role in how you and your partner respond to one another. Many couples begin their relationship with a strong sensory connection. You might smell your partner as you lay in bed, long for the taste of their kiss, or enjoy the touch of their skin on yours. Unfortunately, these experiences are lost later in a relationship due to kids, careers, or other distractions. Making those a priority once again can have a profound impact on your sense of love and emotional connection to each other.
If you are struggling to fall back in love with your partner, it might be time for professional support. Learn more about how to improve your communication and connection using the link below.