Do you remember the last time you and your spouse went on a quality date just the two of you? If you can’t, or if it’s been far too long, it’s probably time to make some adjustments to your weekly routine. There are many reasons to start dating your spouse again, and the benefits are countless. You will feel more connected, increase your desire for each other, and unwind. Most of us live busy lives and juggle full schedules, so it’s easy to push off spending time with your spouse. Yet, when you prioritize your relationship, you’ll find other aspects of your life together will get easier and more pleasant. Let’s take a closer look at why couples stop dating each other and the three main reasons to date your spouse again.
Why Married Couples Stop Dating Each Other
Most couples who get married had a lot of fun when they were dating each other. When relationships are still new and fresh, dating is exciting and fun, and fairly spontaneous. You can decide in the spur of the moment to see a movie, go to dinner, or even go on a day trip last minute.
Over time, relationships settle into a more predictable pattern and other priorities creep in. Careers, children, aging parents and other responsibilities demand more of your time. Sometimes you can get so bogged down that spending time with your spouse seems like a luxury or indulgence. So you stop dating your spouse, and eventually start noticing you’re not as close as you were once. It’s no wonder you start having relationship problems since you stopped investing time into your marriage.
3 Reasons To Date Your Spouse Again
1. Rekindle Your Emotional Connection
The bond you established at the beginning of your relationship is still there, although it may be a bit rusty. When you start dating your spouse again, you’ll reignite that spark that brought you together. You will be reminded of your identity as a couple, as someone who loves and is loved by the other. This deep connection directly affects your emotional well-being, sex drive and energy level, and it vastly improves the quality of your life overall.
2. Take A Break From Life’s Stresses
Dating your spouse provides that much-needed break from the stresses of work, kids, and other demands. A date should be relaxing and enjoyable. The location can be something new and exciting, or even a cozy evening in your living room.
It’s important that the focus of the date be on your relationship. Limit any screens or outside contact. Spending meaningful time together probably means not just watching Netflix. Use this time to get to know each other, have sex, go on an adventure, or engage in some other activity that builds a strong connection.
If you are at a loss for what to do together, think back to when you were dating. Pick something that you used to enjoy together but have since not made time for. The general recommendation for a date night is at least 2-3 hours together without any interruptions. Most couples need to schedule this time at least every other week.
3. Grow You And Your Relationship
Marriage is not a stagnant experience. Just like people, it changes over time and requires care and upkeep to thrive. The more you invest in the relationship, the stronger it will get. Dating your spouse allows you both to continually refresh your relationship as you bring in new ideas and experiences.
Growing the relationship together also makes sure that you remain in sync with your partner. Many couples find themselves on different paths later in life because they were disconnected for so long.
Additionally, when your marriage is solid, it becomes a force for everything else in your life. Tolerance goes up, stress is easier to manage, and overall pleasure increases when marriage is a sanctuary.
Make More Time For Your Spouse
The first thing to do is to prioritize date nights. Block off time on the calendar and treat it with the same sense of importance as a work meeting or a doctor’s appointment.
When your weeks are busy, you need to be more intentional with setting up dates. The spontaneity may be a thing of the past, but you will still gain all the benefits of being together with a little extra care and planning.
Think of some favorite dates you enjoyed with your partner before you got married and see how you can recreate them. These “peak experiences” will guide you toward activities that brought you pleasure and made you feel closer. See how you can adapt these favorite dates to your current life and situation. For example, if you’re foodies but can’t go out to nice restaurants as much, then set a beautiful table at home and enjoy takeout. Even scaled down experiences will help you stay connected.
It takes consistent effort and dedicated time to stay engaged and improve your marriage. This is especially important if your kids have left home and you and your partner are not staring at each other wonder what the next step is. If it’s been a while since you took your spouse out, it’s not too late to start again. Bring back that spark now and get back on track.
