Marriage retreats are quickly gaining in popularity as the preferred method of couples therapy. The reason behind their popularity is the ability to super-charge the therapeutic journey and gain faster, better results. Instead of the prolonged process of weekly counseling sessions, you spend dedicated hours during an extended weekend to get to a resolution. For those unfamiliar with this format of counseling, the first question is usually, “What do you at a marriage retreat?” The answer to this question is surprisingly simple: you work with a therapist on exploring and expressing your emotions, as well as learning valuable relationship skills for long-lasting change.
Exploring and Expressing Emotions
Typically, a marriage retreat runs between 1 and 3 days. Regardless of its duration, the main goal is for you and your spouse to explore and express your emotions, desires, unmet needs, and sources of conflict. Your therapist will guide you to the root causes(s) behind the issues in your relationship. This will allow both you and your partner to focus effectively on the right solutions. Typically, very little time is spent on blaming, shaming, or airing of grievances. The goal is to spend the bare minimum on accusations and the majority of the time on actionable resolutions. This is one of the main reasons why marriage retreats are so effective – the focus is on moving forward constructively, not dwelling on past problems.
Learning And Practicing Relationship Skills
During your retreat, you will learn dozens of ways to break your old habits which no longer serve you well. Adopting even one new, productive habit can break the negative cycles in your relationship. In my years of experience, I’ve seen countless relationships transformed when the couple improved their communication skills. This includes both constructive speaking and active listening. Your therapist will hold a mirror to the problematic dynamics causing a rift in your marriage and will equip you with the tools to catch and correct them in the future. Part of skills development will be some guided exercises where each partner will implement tools and techniques they’ve learned along the way. You may be given prompts and scripts to try out to help you better connect and express your needs. Both partners should be willing and ready to engage in this learning process.
The Marriage Retreat Aftercare Plan
You’ll cover a lot of ground quickly during a marriage retreat. To help you stay on target once you’re back home, the therapist will typically provide you with an aftercare plan. Once the retreat ends, the couple must actively continue to apply their new skills in order for the changes to take hold in the longer term. The therapist will provide each partner an individualized aftercare plan. This plan will help you both continue to increase your emotional intelligence and self regulation. Some couples will benefit from a follow-up visit or check-in, although most couples report significant improvement after a retreat without the need for ongoing support from the therapist. The marriage retreat aftercare plan will include a recommendation for any follow-on consultations if necessary.
Is A Marriage Retreat Right For You?
In order to learn more about what you would do at a marriage retreat, check out these case studies from real couples as well as a sample 3-day retreat itinerary. You may also want to explore the benefits of non-religious marriage retreats. It’s helpful to think of marriage as a living thing which requires care, nourishment and upkeep. When your marriage isn’t nurtured, it can easily wilt and develop cracks. Couples therapy is a useful tool in getting your relationship back into shape. If you decide it’s time to take the next step in rebuilding your marriage and you’d like faster, more efficient results, a marriage retreat may just be the thing.
